This extended care unit becomes more familiar and less frightening as I pass the days, three weeks tomorrow, Tuesday.
This is a Catholic hospital and the Psychologist who runs things is Catholic, everything keeps coming up Catholic in my life, this is good.
So I will pass Easter among friends if I could only count on the kindness of the staff, there is one patient who is making things very difficult for me and is a grave test of my humility.
I touched base with the Psychologist about my family’s hi-tech background, and felt relief that somebody is aware of my severe trials, I do hope that I can navigate the weird social network here and continue to get by. I am looking at 3, 6, or 12 months here, my personal habits and occupations have to change and the suicidal ideation has to change, tho I feeled pulled down at times I have been bouncing back.
Right now I am sailing on a Hail Mary and a Hail Holy Queen, and a Memorare to St. Joseph.
I haven’t talked to my son for about a month, he is still in rehab, and the separation is producing marvelous progress. My mother and father are getting a break, and I only don’t know what to do about my husband whom I feel close to but not confident of his feelings towards me, I’m not sure at all what he is thinking.
My last email was about the expression (?) and musical group name “system of a down,” which seems to me to accurately denote the bizarre problems I’ve faced since I took the overdose when I was 24–things have systematicaally worked against me in the weirdest way since then, and it seems to be breaking up and maybe I am coming back to the surface, I do so humbly pray.