Dark Web

I had a dream about a serial killer yesterday.  It was a waking dream.  I had been in bed for about 48 hours straight.  Goes that way when I need to shiit.  Which i didn’t realize until my dear mother brought me fruit, 2 packages of fruit salad, and then fed me a fresh-made sausage patty at her house.  I went there complaining about pain and sickness…but it was really the dream that got to me.  It must have gone on for hours.

I can’t go back over the details.  I am out of it now and want to leave it far behind.  This was the second of two attacks on me in my dreams–the other was brief, I was suffocated to the point that my mouth was covered over and I was pushed back into blackness–then I woke up.

I can’t put my finger on who I think sent that man–it was a real person, not just a dream; he was too specific, I felt his flesh on me–I mean, I won’t say it, but now I am scared of everybody in my life (except my son.)  I was about to give power of attorney to my mother…  (huh what???)…because of how sick and scared and overwhelmed I felt.  I was in bad pain.  It’s been a while.  But then the usual, or maybe the unusual, happened:  I took a dose of lactulose, and ate the fruit and the sausage and woke up ready to have a b.m.  Slowly the stress on my damaged innards healed.  I have to go again and can’t because of the uro-gyny pain; so I’ve taken another dose of lactulose.  And motrin.

Arghh I am scared.  I locked everything down tight.  I am alone.  Tonight, I love my downstairs neighbors even for the feuding because maybe they would pay attention if they saw a strange man hanging around.  This time it would be a gun I believe.

I don’t want to go to sleep tonight.

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