Misunderstood

My first psychologist asked if I had had a birth trauma.

How odd, I thought.  What does that have to do with anything?

Then I found myself driving the car up the driveway and stopping it a part of the way up, it was a long driveway.  I parked it there and left it with the idea (I was pretty crazy) that I was pushing my mother out of the way to get out somehow, I don’t think I associated it with birth.  But then I learned that she had waited to deliver me until my father, late, arrived at the hospital from work.  I always knew that the doctor had had to turn me upside down and slap me on the bum to start me breathing, that I didn’t cry.

Then the issue of “dominating” started and my mother never dropped it.

I’m still fighting this battle today.  I try to do something for my benefit and it’s assumed that I just want to dominate, that I should be stopped (at all costs.)

I am fighting with them right now.  I’m really not sure I’m ever going to talk to them again.  It’s hard.

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